Single Parent Adoption
By Elizabeth Ehlen, 4/24/09
We frequently get asked by people if we work with single parents. We do work with single parents on a limited basis and only if you are truly single – not living together with a partner or engaged. However, we do caution our single parents that it is likely that they will wait longer than average for a placement than our married couples. The big reason is because most birth mothers request a married couple to adopt their child. They feel that if they wanted their child raised by a single parent, they would keep the child rather than placing him/her for adoption. While that may sound harsh, it is what we hear from birth mothers. Of course, there are unique challenges faced by single parents, and these challenges must be very carefully considered before moving forward with adoption. As with dual-income married couples, child care plans must be carefully thought out before proceeding with the adoption. Unlike with married couples, single parents cannot fall back on a partner to pick up a child if there is an emergency at work. A single parent must surround him or herself with supportive families and friends, and must also make careful guardianship arrangements if something should happen. There is also the question of future relationship plans, and how having a child would affect those plans. While none of these are insurmountable obstacles, they are often more present for single parents, and should be carefully thought out prior to adopting. Particularly for single parents, it is important not to limit yourself when presenting yourself on possible adoption situations. Be as open as possible with race, gender, contact and health of the child (within reason for your situation of course) and remember that often if you are shown with other families that have a married couple, you may get overlooked simply for that reason, which is why it is extra important for you to get shown as much as possible. Don't give up if adoption is what you really want; just be realistic about how long it will take for you to adopt and how attractive you will be to birth parents.
