Recently a colleague and I were discussing some of the questions we get from women considering adoption plans for their unborn (and occasionally, born) children. One of the questions that never ceases to amaze us – and that we get frequently – is “So do you think you will have anyone who wants my baby?” It’s usually all I can do to restrain myself from yelling “YES! YES! A Thousand Times YES!!!” I will attempt to maintain my composure and assure her that we likely have multiple adoptive family profiles that she can review and if she doesn’t like any of those we can get her more to view quickly. While you get the occasional scammer or birth parent that is the adoption equivalent of a gold-digger, this is not the norm. Most are generally seeking to be the best parent they can possibly be for their child, even if that means making the extraordinarily difficult decision to let someone else raise that child as their own. While her pregnancy may not be exactly what she wanted, I can assure the woman in that situation that there is someone, indeed more than one someone, who DESPERATELY wants that pregnancy, and has gone through a lot of heartbreak and jumped through a lot of legal hoops to be approved to parent. I don't want to seem insensitive to those in difficult situations; pregnancy is stressful and will change your life forever, regardless of your situation and whether you planned to be pregnant or not. But whether the pregnancy was wanted by you or not, the pregnancy and the child you are carrying is wanted. Your child is so loved, and not just by you. We always tell our clients you can never have too many people love a child, and adoption ensures that the adopted child has so many people available to provide love for that little one. Every time I hear the term “unwanted pregnancy” my eye starts to twitch and I grit my teeth because
The truth is someone, somewhere desperately wants that pregnancy, and desperately loves that child.
Don’t buy the myth of the unwanted pregnancy, and for those of us in support positions for these women and their beautiful children, let’s do what we can to change that stereotype. [facebooksimplelike]